


Touch My God

by rivanyan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Reincarnation, ish, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivanyan/pseuds/rivanyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always been this ache in his chest, a weight on his heart. There's only one thing that can make it better, but isn't it just a figment of his imagination?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch My God

If there's one thing that Eren knows about this damned crazy life, it's that he loves Levi.

He's loved Levi ever since he was born, probably. Before she'd passed away, Carla had told him that his first garbled word was "Levi!" and even showed him shaky video recordings of his baby self toddling around, calling out periodically. Carla and Grisha were confused parents, as before Eren, the word 'Levi' had never even entered their own extensive vocabulary. It's become something like a running joke in the family, that Eren was born with one purpose, to find this 'Levi'. Sometimes, Eren feels that this isn't a long shot from the truth at all. Whatever or whoever Levi is, they are, has been, and probably always will be his anchor.

Eren's never had concrete hope that Levi wasn't just a part of his childish imagination, some watery illusion, until he meets the inseparable Mikasa and Armin. The two just seem to absorb Eren into their lifestyle as if he had always been there, and they are the first stable relationship Eren forms after his mother's death and Grisha's subsequent compulsive moving around.

It's after their world history class broaches the subject of religion that Eren allows his two best friends to know about his Levi. Levi's like my God, he laughs, because when I think of him, I feel like I can carry on, like wind under my wings. When I hurt, Levi heals me.

Mikasa and Armin are quiet. Armin is fidgeting uncomfortably for some reason but Mikasa watches him with those all-seeing eyes of hers and just repeats, "Levi."

Eren doesn't bring up Levi again that day, because he's suddenly afraid. Not that they would judge him, but because they believed him. Perhaps he is reading things in too deep, but there's this suspicious nagging thought that he is scared to chase.

What if Levi is actually real?

You spend your time thinking about, building up, loving a character your entire life, and suddenly there's a chance that, somehow, it's not all just a dream. You go from having nothing to having everything. If Levi doesn't all meet his expectations... But oh, how he yearns for this warmth and security that curls in his heart simply at the thought of the other, hinting at the unexplicable feelings that actually touching Levi might evoke. Levi is the only constant in his life; Eren wonders if he has the courage to reach out and touch this dream, his god, his Levi.

Levi doesn't come up amongst them again, until that spring day when the oppressing clouds finally break into weak sunshine. Eren's backed up against the dusty lockers by a guy who probably thinks it's extremely suave to shove someone into them. Eren is trying to be polite and dance around the obvious flirtations, but his patience is wearing thin quite quickly. The boy is encroaching his wide personal bubble and smells like he poured a bottle of Axe on himself. Disgusting.

Eren is actually deciding which fist to introduce on a date with the guy's face (right fist if another lousy pick up line, left if another crappy compliment), when Armin slides in. He grabs Eren and maneuvers him under outstretched arms away, chattering about something that makes the guy let go, but the only thing Eren understands is, "Levi wouldn't like this."

Armin refuses to explain this later; it was only a convenient excuse I could come up with to save you, he says.

Eren doesn't believe him.

His two best friends know something but they won't tell him. He knows Armin will smoothly dodge the subject like he's easily capable of and Mikasa will simply refuse to utter a word at all.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Levi's hands are dry and warm around Eren's own papery skin, thumb tracing a semi-circle around the edge of Eren's palm, a scar that is not there.

Their eyes meet and his breath catches in his throat as Levi slowly brings Eren's hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist when Eren makes no move to draw away.

"Eren."

"Yes." Oh, he's so weak to this man. If it's a question or statement Eren doesn't know; he would say yes to anything for Levi, as long as he would continue to call for him.

The other man shifts in his seat, still looking at Eren, but there is a certain frailty in the unwavering gaze. He's afraid, Eren marvels, we've just met and- Oh. So that's it.

He reaches forward to brush the bangs curving at the corners of Levi's eyes, letting his fingertips trail down the smooth skin, almost giddy with joy that this wonderful creature, seemingly sprung from his dreams, was his own.

"I was born into this world knowing only one thing. My mother tells me the first thing I spoke was your name. I have always thought about you, even if I never knew you were real. I may not remember you, but I know you, my heart- no, my soul knows you, Levi. I was made to love you. Does that sound cliché? Because right now my chest hurts so much and I'm so happy and fuck, you better not be a hallucination. Don't leave me." He doesn't realize there are tears running down his cheeks until Levi lets go off his hands to brush them away.

"Eren," he murmurs, and Eren latches onto his shirt, needing contact like a starving man needs food, burying his face into the fabric. Levi's heartbeat sounds steadily under Eren's hands, grounds him at the same time it lifts him higher than he's ever imagined. "I'd been living a pretty fucked up life for a while, and things were getting so fucking bad, I wasn't sure if I wanted to even see the next sunrise. But then you know what happened? I see you,kid. When I closed my eyes, I saw yours, glaring back at me and your voice yelling at me to live. Why the fuck I would listen to a voice in my head, who knows, but I knew if I ever made that voice in my head cry because I'd done something stupid, I wouldn't be able to face... you, I guess."

Eren looks up, grinning, nose brushing Levi's sharp jaw. "And here I cried anyway."

Levi looks a bit cross. "That's your own fault, you piece of sap."

There is no bite in the retort, no sharpness in his movements as he traces the bumps of Eren's spine through the thin t-shirt.

They are falling into a comfortable bantering that shouldn't be normal for two strangers.

He's shivering, shaking, and he's oh so in love.


End file.
